Repeated unwanted contact or hostile messages can turn a dating interaction into something you no longer want to manage alone. You do not have to win an argument with the sender before deciding to stop engaging. This guide focuses on organising information and choosing contact options, not determining whether conduct meets a legal definition.
Identify what is happening concretely
Write a short description of the actions: repeated messages after a refusal, contact from additional accounts or threats to share information. Keep dates and account identifiers where you can do so without continuing an exchange. A factual description is more useful for a report than a guess about the sender's personality.
Do not collect more messages by provoking a reply. You can use what you already have. If there is immediate danger, seek local emergency assistance rather than waiting for an application review.
Decide whether any response is needed
You may choose not to reply. If you want to state that contact is unwanted and feel able to do so, a short message can be enough: “Do not contact me again.” You do not need to repeat it through every new channel or attend a meeting to explain.
Do not promise that one message will stop the behaviour. Nor should someone supporting you insist that you confront the sender as a necessary step. The decision about further participation remains yours.
Use the relevant service options
Check the service's current instructions for blocking and reporting. Before making changes, consider whether you need to retain relevant details that may become harder to access afterwards. Availability and effects differ between services; do not assume that a block removes copies or prevents contact through another account.
A report can describe the actual messages and unwanted behaviour without publishing the entire conversation to other members. Include information relevant to the incident, not unrelated details about the sender's claimed identity or personal life.
Ask for support without expanding disclosure
You can ask a trusted person to sit with you while you review options or help organise a concise account. Specify what information they may share. A trans person's identity history does not need to become public in order to explain that contact is unwanted.
If someone is helping you, they should not contact the sender, post screenshots or make announcements without discussing that with you. Support can mean helping with a chosen practical task rather than taking control of the situation. These steps cannot assess every risk or guarantee an outcome; more urgent or complex circumstances need appropriate assistance.
Further reading
eSafety Commissioner: online dating. The reporting preparation above is editorial guidance, not a legal assessment or a promise of platform action.