Looking into therapy does not mean deciding that your partner is the problem. Start by identifying the question: does one person want private support, do both want help discussing a relationship difficulty, or are you unsure what service fits? Being trans is not, by itself, a reason to require therapy as a condition of dating.
Ask what the service actually provides
The NHS overview of talking therapies describes working with a trained professional and includes couples therapy among the available forms. That overview does not establish which approach is right for you or whether a particular service is accessible in your location.
Ask a prospective provider about their training, relevant professional registration and experience with the concern you want to discuss. You can ask how they work respectfully with trans people without requiring your partner to disclose a detailed history in an initial inquiry. Check costs, session format, accessibility, language and cancellation arrangements.
Clarify privacy before the first session
For individual work, ask what confidentiality means and what its limits are. A partner does not automatically receive a report of what was discussed. For couples work, ask how the provider handles separate contact, private disclosures and records before assuming either complete secrecy or automatic sharing.
Agree whether you want to discuss sessions afterwards and how much. Attending together does not require agreeing on every account of the relationship. Avoid using the invitation as a threat that a professional will prove you right.
Keep safety and choice visible
If someone feels afraid, controlled or unable to speak freely with a partner present, seek confidential individual advice about suitable support rather than assuming joint sessions are the appropriate first step. In immediate danger, use local emergency assistance. This page cannot evaluate a relationship or determine a treatment plan.
After an initial conversation, each person can reflect on whether they understood the process and felt able to ask questions. Raise concerns with the provider or explore another appropriate service. The next step might be individual support, a joint appointment or more information; choosing it should not depend on stereotypes about a trans person's psychology.