A welcome form of touch in one moment may not be wanted in another. Ask about the contact you are considering rather than assuming that dating, privacy or a previous yes settles the question. This applies to ordinary affection as well as intimacy between adults.
Make the invitation specific
“Would you like to hold hands?” offers a clearer choice than “Are you comfortable with me?” The broader question can be difficult to answer because comfort with a person does not imply agreement to every activity.
Give the other person time to respond before moving. If the answer is uncertain, leave the contact aside. You can continue talking or choose another shared activity without making a refusal the centre of the date.
Separate place from activity
Someone may want a hug privately but not in front of others. Ask about the setting instead of interpreting the difference as embarrassment about you. Do not require an explanation of family, identity or personal history before accepting the limit.
For example: “Would you like to hold hands here, or not today?” leaves room for an answer about this moment. Avoid repeatedly checking in a way that becomes pressure to give a different response.
Do not use contact to test a guess
Do not touch a body area to discover whether a person likes it. Ask first, and do not infer permission from clothing or from the way they describe their gender. A trans person's anatomy or preferences are not established by an identity label.
If someone moves away, becomes uncertain or asks you to stop, stop and check what they want next. Do not continue while debating whether their response was clear enough. The immediate practical choice is to pause, not prove your interpretation was reasonable.
Let the next activity be separate
A person who declines touch may still enjoy conversation, a walk or simply sitting nearby. Offer those options without treating them as a waiting room for a later yes. They may also want to end the meeting, which does not require negotiating for extra time.
If you want to discuss preferences later, ask whether that conversation is welcome. Keep it about what each person wants rather than assigning a psychological explanation to the boundary. You do not need a theory about their feelings to respect the answer.
Further reading
TransHub: consent and communication. These are non-graphic editorial examples of asking about contact, not legal or clinical guidance.